Have you ever taken a class that has changed your life in just a few months? I just spent the last 9 weeks immersed in a coaching program for female physicians. It was AMAZING! We had life coaching group sessions, individual sessions, business coaching and mentoring calls with physicians who have done different things in businesses outside of medicine.
I have had some experience with life coaching over the last few years, but this was my first deep dive. It wasn't cheap and it was a lot of work. I think that the fact that all of us had invested in ourselves as we invested in the program helped all of us really commit to showing up and participating. The leaders were 2 female physicians who had trained to be life coaches and it was inspiring to have them as examples of what is possible.
Most of what we were working on was based off of "the model" that what we feel is caused by what we think about a situation. And that what we feel leads to our actions and our results.
C = circumstances, just the facts, what EVERYONE can agree on
T = thoughts we have about those circumstances
F = feelings we have about those thoughts
A = actions we take
R= results we get
So in effect if we change what we think about something, this will change how we feel and change our reality! On one hand this kind of stinks, because that makes us responsible for our own emotions; but it is also empowering to know that we have this ability to improve our lives!
We can't blame feeling upset on how someone else made us feel - someone may have cut us off in traffic, but they didn't make us mad. We made ourselves upset by how we thought about them cutting us off.
It isn't about substituting some Pollyanna thought that you aren't going to believe. I can't believe that I love it when people cut me off to make myself feel good. Nope. Not going to happen. However, I can choose to believe that the other driver must be in a rush to get to someplace important, or may be upset about something themselves and driving this way because of being upset. If I choose to think those things instead, I am no longer mad and am able to give them more grace, which decreases my internal frustration and how changes how I show up in the world, and changes the circumstances of those around me.
C = Another driver pulls in front of me as I am driving down the highway
T = stupid person, almost caused and accident, they don't care about anyone other than themselves
F = angry
A = start yelling at the other driver from inside the car
R = I get tense and have less patience for the next hour.
C = Another driver pulls in front of me as I am driving down the highway (note - same circumstance)
T = wow, they must really be in a hurry to get somewhere important
F = concerned
A = I make sure I leave enough space between our cars
R = I am not tense and am able to enjoy talking with the other people in the car
Same circumstance, different result. Which one do you want? You DO
get to pick!
So we practiced this modeling all summer. Over and over again. On lots of topics. From kids going back to school in the era of COVID-19, to getting fired, to fights with family members, to why we weren't getting the results we wanted from our diets, our businesses, our LIVES! And guess what? We changed our thoughts and changed our realities! People got jobs, lost weight, improved their relationships with their families, one woman started and sold over $100k worth of a new course! Just amazing!! SO POWERFUL!
And so I have decided I want to continue with these deeper dives. I want to learn how to help other people experience part of what I did this summer. I want to continue to work on flexing those muscles... So... I signed up for The Life Coach School this fall. It isn't cheap. It is a huge investment of time, and money. But I am worth it. And you are too.
If you are interested in learning more about what I am doing, please email or call me. I would love to talk! :)
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